Delivering to Satan/Entregar a Satanás - Bilingüe

"...that by them you may wage the good warfare, having faith and a good conscious, which some having rejected, concerning the faith have suffered shipwreck, of whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I delivered to Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme."

Sounds like a pretty terrible Christian, right?  Who in their right mind would "deliver someone to Satan" and have the nerve to call themselves a Christian?  The Apostle Paul would.

The above is taken from the NKJV of 1 Timothy 1:18-20.  And it poses a problem for many Christians.  

The love of Christ is our number one priority "..love God with all your heart, strength and mind, and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself" (Matth 22). We are also told that '"vengeance belongs to the Lord" (Hebrews 10:30).  So, how is this verse rectified to the Christian doctrine of unconditional love?

Firstly, one must come to grips that Paul hadn't stated or commanded for the love to cease...so, he broke no law there.  Secondly, the idea of "tough love" is quite biblical: "whoever spares the rod, hates their child" (Proverbs 13:24). "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die."(Proverbs 23:13). "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death."(Proverbs 19:18).  You get the idea - discipline shows love and saves lives.

How does disciplining and beating a child show love?  Woah! Woah. Do NOT beat your children EVER "Fathers, do not make your kids angry by the way you treat them" (Ephesians 6:4).  But, spanking and whipping are age-old correction methods, proven to work. The people that say that they don't have produced the children that we see today!

So, let's get this straight - discipline, whipping, correction and spanking show love for the child? Yes.  By teaching the semi-hard lesson early in life, you save them from trying it out on their own (the ol' college try); the actual hard way.  "Mom!  How come you never told me that yelling back would get me in trouble with my boss?"  "Dad! How come you never told me that drinking wouldn't really help me escape my problems?"  If you correct your children early-on, they will learn from it then and avoid the train wreck later.  But the Bible is being a step more bold in saying that the parent who does not discipline their child, teach them the lesson early and prevent them form making the mistake - does not love their child - because if you love your child, you obviously don't want them to die later or make huge mistakes!

But parents don't discipline because they don't want to hurt the child's feelings - to be realistic - the parent is choosing major discomfort over minor discomfort. Bruises (Although you shouldn't be trying to leave one) heal, scratches mend, but a destroyed spirit - who can mend it?  Yes, it may be difficult and heart-breaking to discipline a child, but it will be more difficult to watch that child, twenty-years later an alcoholic, that can't keep a job and who's life that is in pieces continues to fragment into smaller pieces.

It's the same with spiritual fathers, we watch our children, having either ourselves or having seen in other lives, people make the mistakes that our spiritual children are about to make; or perhaps we just know the devastation that the struggle can bring - so what do we try and do?  We try and gently steer our spiritual children away from the culprit. Sometimes to no avail.  So, what do we do?  We ask for discipline.  We pray to God for Him to discipline.  How does God discipline? He allows tests and discipline to come to us - so that we learn and live.  He allowed His very own Son, Jesus to be tempted by the Devil. The same person, Paul delivered those two gentlemen to - and to what end?  So "that they may learn not to blaspheme".  

A Diaper commercial said it best: "You live, you learn, you get Luvs."

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“…te doy este encargo para que pelees la buena batalla con fe y buena conciencia, conforme a las palabras proféticas pronunciadas anteriormente sobre ti. Algunos, por no haber hecho caso a su conciencia, han fracasado en su fe. ²⁰ Esto les ha pasado a Himeneo y Alejandro, a quienes he entregado a Satanás para que aprendan a no decir cosas ofensivas contra Dios.”

Esto se oye como un cristiano terrible, ¿verad?  Quien en sus cinco sentidos ¿“entregaría alguien a Satanás” y tener el valor en llamarse un cristiano?  El Apóstalo Pablo lo haría.

El pasaje antedicho se tomó de 1 Timoteo 1:18-20 y es un problema para muchos cristianos.

El amor de Cristo es nuestra prioridad numero uno “…ame a Dios con todo tu corazón, tus fuerzas y tu mente y el segundo semejante, ame a su prójimo como a sí mismo” (Mateo 22).  También nos dice que “la vagancia pertenece al Señor” (Hebreos 10:30). Así que, ¿cómo rectificamos a este versículo a la doctrina cristiana del amor sin condición?”

Primeramente, uno tiene entender que Pablo no mandó o propuso que el amor tuviera que parar…así que no quebró ninguna ley él.  Segundamente, la idea de “amor duro” es bíblico: “Quien no corrige a su hijo, no lo quiere; el que lo ama, lo corrige” (Proverbios 13:24).  “No dejes de corregir al joven, que unos cuantos azotes no lo matarán” (Proverbios 23:13). “Corrige a tu hijo mientras aún pueda ser corregido, pero procura no matarlo a causa del castigo” (Proverbios 19:18).  Lo ve bien – la disciplina demuestra el amor y salva vidas.

Pero ¿cómo es que el disciplinar y golpear demuestra el amor?  Woaaah! Woah.  No dice que debemos de golpear a los niños NUNCA “Padres no enfaden a tus hijos por la manera que los tratas”(Efesios 6:4).  Pero, cachetadas/azotes son métodos probados por los siglos en corregir a un niño.  Los que dice que no es así han producido la clase de muchacho que vemos hoy en día.

Ahora bien, entendamos pues – ¿disciplinar, azotar y corregir enseñan el amor al hijo?  Sí.  Por medio de enseñar la lección semi-difícil más temprano en la vida, lo salvas de tratarlo por sus propios esfuerzos más adelante en la vida; lo cual es la manera de veras más difícil.  “¡Mamá! ¿Por qué no m dijiste que gritar a regreso a mi jefe me pondría en problemas?  ¡Papá! ¿Por qué no me dijiste que tomar alcohol de veras no me iba a ayudar en escapar de mis problemas?  Si corriges a los hijos temprano, aprenderán y evitarán el descarrilamiento luego.  Pero, la Biblia está un poco más valerosa todavía diciendo que el padre/la madre que no corrige a sus hijos, que enseña la lección antes y previene el problema – odia a sus hijos – porque si ama a su hijo, ¡obviamente no quiere que mueran o hagan errores grandes!

Pero los padres no disciplinan a sus hijos porque no quiere dañar a los sentimientos del niño – pero en ser realístico – el padre escoge daño más grande sobre daño más pequeño.  Contusiones (aunque no deben de ser el enfoque o la meta) se sanan, cortas se sanan, pero un espíritu quebrantado - ¿quién lo puede sanar?  Sí, es difícil disciplinar a un niño, pero es más difícil ver a este niño, veinte años después, un alcohólico o que no puede mantener un trabajo o una familia por ser descontrolado – y cuya vida que está deshecha sigue deshaciéndose.

Es igual con padres espirituales, miramos a nuestros hijos, habiendo estado allí mismo o habiendo visto otros hacer el mismo error que nuestros hijo espirituales están por hacer; o tal vez sepamos el resultado de que una lucha puede traer – y ¿qué hacemos? Intentamos a guiar gentilmente al hijo lejos del problema – pero a veces no ayuda. Así que, ¿qué hacemos? Pedimos la disciplina del Señor.  ¿Cómo nos diciplina El Señor?   Él permite que pruebas y disciplina nos venga – para que aprendamos y vivamos.  Dios permitió que su propio Hijo, Jesús, sea tentado por Satanás.  La misma persona, Pablo, entregó a estos dos hombres – y ¿con qué meta? Para que “aprendieran no blasfemar.”

Una comercial de pañuelos lo dijo mejor: “Vives, aprendes y agarras a Luvs.”

Overcoming Spiritual Passivity - An Intro

Strengthening the Local Church

Overcoming Passivity

Intro

Of course we could name a million things that a man should do to strengthen the local church, like praying, becoming humble, paying tithes, studying the word of God, actually reading the Word of God, participating in praise and worship instead of looking around, taking leadership, while you’re in leadership – being submissive to your leaders, becoming servants – but I think instead of talking about all those things that people know about and are just too lazy or rebellious to do – I think we can do what men ought to do best – and just do it.

If you came to this workshop just so your wife wouldn’t yell at you or if you came hoping you could sit down and maybe if you’re really religious, throw out a few “amens” – I don’t want your amens, I want your attention - you have a problem.  It is a disease.  Yes, you have a disease.  That disease is called “A Passive Spirit”.

A Passive Spirit

What is a passive spirit?  Well, a, it’s not a demon and b, it’s not something that you’re stuck with.  Yes, you are infected, but just as a body fights infection – you too can fight this infection.

Let me tell you how you may have become infected.  You may have come to this country looking for a better opportunity and wanted to support your family.  So, you began working very hard in the harvest – 8-10 hour days 6-7 days a week.  All the while, you have a family and you call yourself a Christian.  After a few months had gone by, one Sunday you told your wife, “I’m not going to go with you to church today” I worked so hard this week and I need a break.  And it is true that every Christian is supposed to take breaks, like the Bible says “the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath”.  So you took your break.  And it was nice.  It was deserved.  And it continued.  It became easier to sit on the sofa, or lay in bed or talk in the park than go to church.  You became infected with passivity and it caused you to forget about your God-given responsibility to be a good steward of your family, of God’s things and of this earth.  

You equated the work that man has to do with the work that God asks us to do.  You figured that since you had worked so hard in the week, God must understand that you can’t be working for Him too.  You bought and chose to believe the lie that working for money gives you the right to skip out on working for God.  You were wrong.  You were infected.

Others of you, who dared to call yourselves ministers and lay-pastors became infected when you started listening to yourself instead of listening to God.  You began to say things like “that pastor is no better than I am – I think I could do his job better than he could anyway”.  And while you were right about the pastor being just a man – you chose to forget the part that “every authority comes from above” and that leaders of the church are anointed in their position and that God will carefully watch over his anointed – no better illustration of that is found in 2 Samuel 1:14-17 “¹⁴ David asked him, “Why weren’t you afraid to lift your hand to destroy the LORD’s anointed?”  ¹⁵ Then David called one of his men and said, “Go, strike him down!” So he struck him down, and he died. ¹⁶ For David had said to him, “Your blood be on your own head. Your own mouth testified against you when you said, ‘I killed the LORD’s anointed.’”  

 You also decided that it would be okay to disobey God and not give your tithes and offerings first and foremost – the full 10% - BEFORE – you bought groceries, went out to eat and went to hang out with friends.  Our temples are run down, out of date and honestly shameful to look at and it is because people think so highly of themselves that they think the Word of God doesn’t apply to them! They think they can disobey by stirring up people against the pastor, pastor’s wife, pastor’s children, the board, the leaders, the volunteers and the district.  They think they can get away with not obeying God by giving of their time and their resources – yes, that means money – and not suffer the consequences.  Maybe actually in truth – they haven’t gotten a passive spirit – they’ve just gotten an evil spirit!  Because now instead of fighting against Satan and his angels, our true enemy, we fight against each other – and if you have done that – and I have at times – you ought to be ashamed, you ought to be face-down, humble and asking God for forgiveness and then knock it off!

Transition

Many people sit there in broken marriages, with ruined finances, terrible children, nearly miserable and are trying to figure out what went wrong.  You gave up! You gave up!  You became infected and gave up.  You didn’t go to the doctor and you didn’t try diet and exercise.  You gave up!  You didn’t run to the Lord to find out what went wrong and what you were supposed to do – you didn’t pray and you didn’t fast and you didn’t serve and you didn’t fight!  You allowed a passive spirit to take over you who is called to be a mighty warrior of God.  You put down the sword of the Spirit, you put down the shield of the faith and you said “the helmet of salvation makes my forehead sweaty” and you took it off!  You said “the breastplate of righteousness is so heavy and difficult” and you took it off!  You said “the belt of truth is pretty inconvenient and my fat hangs over the edge of it” and you took it off!  You said “I don’t want to go walk around and do my job, I want to stay here” and you took of the shoes of the gospel! 

So you weren’t wearing armor anymore, and you didn’t have your weapons anymore – and just because you took them off doesn’t mean that the war had stopped – it just meant that you had given up!  You gave up your responsibility, your job, your blessing, your family, your divine relationship, your salvation and your blessed hope so that you wouldn’t have to fight!  You have a problem!

Proverbs 26:15 says the lazy person is puts grabs the food on his plate but is too lazy to bring his back to his mouth.  This isn’t talking about just food!  The Word of God, the Bible, The Verb, Jesus’ love written down is food for the soul – yet so many are who have the Bible in their home, at times in their hand – they’re too lazy to bring the bible up to their eyes to read it, study it, memorize it.  They have spiritual food in their hands and they are too lazy, too disinterested, too distracted to read it.  The reason that person cannot lives like a fool is because they do not have the Word of God hidden in their hearts.

Men, it is past time, but not too late to step up and become not just men by gender, but men by character – Men of God!

Homily Vol. 1 On Love - Bilingüe

Homily Vol. 1
On Love
By Andrew Ferris
To the Church in America


Of faith, hope and love; the greatest of these is love – for God is love, faith is an essence of hope and confidence, hope is positivity in expectation; the greatest of those is God.  God expressed in life-action is love chiefly for Him, self, and fellow.  Only when we actively and outwardly express love to those three parties will we love continually and continually perfecting.

When we love others, we honor and love God – when we love God, we retain identity in Christ and learn better to love ourselves, from which naturally extends becoming better at loving our fellows and greater still our enemies and superior to both, God.

At some time or another, all things will pass away with the exception of love.  Paul writes to the church in Corinth that “Love never fails”.  Prophecy can be stopped or changed, spiritual gifts will one day become unnecessary, knowledge will fade away with time, reason will change with new generations – but love will outlast all and carry on forever.

To truly love another and to do it to the best of one’s abilities, one must focus their passions and efforts towards the Lord.  You will never love completely without knowing the agape of Christ; that love that has no condition – it simply is and does.  Love first Christ Jesus with all your being – then and only then make the effort to love yourself.

Once you can treat yourself well – not overindulging, but being controlled, making yourself capable of doing, becoming humbly obedient and honoring all others in perfect respect – then seek to give your perfect love to one other.  Do not expect the love of the other, for that is not love perfected; rather love conditional.  Hope for their love, however.  “Agape” means giving love without looking to get back.

Love is a choice we make – chose your love carefully and wisely.  Bathe your decision in prayer and council.  Do not be like foolish people of this world who love that which pleases them only.  Their love is temporary, fleeting, fickle and is doomed to end.  Instead, be wise like Christ has taught us to be and treat love as the great gift and responsibility that it is: look forward to it, be patient for it, revere it, treat it carefully, be gentle with it and guard it as a treasure.

Then, you will love well as you were taught and shown by our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Sobre El Amor

De fe, esperanza y amor; lo más grande de esos es el amor – porque Dios es amor.  La fe es una esencia de esperanza y confidencia, esperanza es la positividad en esperanza; lo más grande de esos es Dios.  Dios expresado en esta vida es amor primeramente para Él, después para sí y finalmente para vecino. Cuando expresamos el amor activamente y externamente esos tres recipientes, vamos a poder amar continuamente y perfeccionar nuestro amor.

Cuando amamos a otros, honramos y amamos a Dios – cuando amamos a Dios, retenemos nuestra identidad en Cristo y aprendemos cómo amarnos mejor.  De eso, naturalmente, aprendemos amar mejor a nuestros vecinos – mejor todavía nuestros enemigos y superior a ambos a Dios.

En cierto punto, todas cosas desvanecen con la excepción del amor.  Pablo escribe a la iglesia en Corinto que “el amor nunca falla”.  Se puede detener a la profecía, los dones del Espíritu un día llegará a ser no necesarios, conocimiento desvanecerá con el tiempo, razón cambia con cada generación nueva – pero el amor permanecerá por siempre.

Para verdaderamente amar a otro y más, hacerlo a la máxima cualidad de la capacidad de uno, uno tiene que enfocar su pasión y esfuerza hacía El Señor.  Nunca amarás completamente si no conoces el amor agape de Cristo; es el amor que no tiene condición – simplemente existe y hace.  Amen primeramente a Cristo Jesús con todo su ser – y entonces, hagan el esfuerzo de amar a sí mismo.

Cuando ya puede amarse bien y tratarse bien – sin excederse, pero tener auto-control, hacerse capaz de hacer el trabajo ante ti, ser obediente humildemente y honrar a todo los demás en respeto perfecto – entonces busque usted dar su amor perfecto al otro.  No esperen el amor del otro, porque es no es el amor perfecto; sino que es el amor condicional.  Tenga esperanza de su amor.  Agape quiere decir dar el amor sin expectativa de recibirlo a regreso.

Amar es una elección que hacemos – escoja tu amor cuidadosamente y con sabiduría.  Bautice su decisión en oración y concilio.  No sea necio como la gente de este mundo que ama a lo que le de gusto solamente.  Su amor es temporáneo, pasajero, inconstante y tiene fines de perdición.  En vez de ser así – sea sabios como Cristo nos enseñó y trate al amor como el regalo y responsabilidad grande que es: tenga esperanza de ello, sea paciente para ello, tenga reverencia de ello, trátelo cuidadosamente, sea gentil con ello y vigílelo como un tesoro.

Entonces, amará bien como nos enseñó y demostró nuestro Señor Jesucristo.

I Say to Myself: Ouch! / Yo Me Digo: Ay!

Glory to God, last week someone was saved in my home!

It was the result of the hard work of a group of young men from Hollister, CA who were scouting out the land to see where there could be harvest.  They brought a man back to my house with them, whom they had met in the town.  We talked with Geraldo for a time and at then end I said "I wouldn't be a pastor if i didn't ask you if you wanted to receive Christ tonight".  And he did!  I was happy!  We all were.  I gave him my contact information and soon they had all left and my wife and I were in the living room celebrating with the angels!

But then I had an interesting thought.

I am always teaching at my church that the work and mission of the Christian person (all of us) and the Church (the Body of Christ) is to "go into the world and make disciples; baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit - to teach them everything I have taught you". 

I missed!  I didn't teach Geraldo anything!  Yes, I am happy that he accepted Christ, but that's like signing someone up for the military then sending them to war!!  He's going to get killed!  We all should know that the enemy attacks those who are about to or are making a difference.  Geraldo is a young, naive Christian...and he has no basic training.  I had forgotten to get his address - all I know is that he lives nearby on a street about a block away. 

It is so imperative to guide him that I am going to have to go door to door on that street until I find him.  Just because I was able to lead someone to Christ doesn't mean I fulfilled the Great Commission (OUCH!)!  I had better follow up with him and others if I want to really do my Christian work.

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Gloria a Dios, alguien recibió El Señor en mi casa!

Fue el resultado del trabajo de un grupo de jóvenes adultos de Hollister, CA quienes vinieron aquí para investigar la tierra para ver donde habrá cosecha.  Trajeron a un hombre de la counidad con ellos de regreso a mi casa que conocieron el el pueblo.  Hablamos con Geraldo por un tiempo y después antes de salir yo le dije "Pues, no sería pastor si no preguntara si usted quisiera aceptarle a Cristo en esta noche".  Y lo recibió!  Estuve feliz!  Nosotros estuvimos felices! Yo le di mi información de contacto - y cuando todos salieron, mi esposa y yo celebramos con la multitud de ángeles.

Pero entonces me llegó un pensamiento.

Siempre enseño en mi iglesia que el deber y la misión de la persona cristiana y la iglesia es "ir al mundo y hacer discípulos, bautizándoles en el nombre del Padre, del Hijo y del Espíritu Santo - enseñandoles todo lo que les enseñé" (Jesús). 

Fracasé! No esnseñé nada a Geraldo!  Sí, estamos felices que recibió el Señor - pero eso es como unirse con el ejército y inmediatemente ir a la guerra!  Él va a morir!  Y debemos todos saber que el enemigo ataca a ellos que están por y que hacen una diferencia.  Geraldo es un cristiano joven, sin experiencia...no tiene ni una gotita de entrenamiento básico.  La única que sé de él es que vive cerca - una calle vecina aproxamademente una manzana de mi casa.

Es tan imperativo que voy a tener que ir puerta a puerta para encontrarle. Guiarle a alguien hacía Cristo no es cumplir el trabajo de la Gran Comisión (AY!)  Yo tengo que tener seguimiento si de veras quiero hacer mi trabajo cristiano.

Husbands / Esposos

Based on 1 Samuel 1:7-9, 11

Here we see a great piece of marital counseling; and no, I am not refering to the multiple wives. Rather, that in verse 9, we see that Elkanah gives comfort and reassurance to Hannah in her time of self-doubt and anguish...and lo and behold...it worked!

In verse 7, we see that Hannah would not eat because of her anguish; but in 9, we see that after the careful care and attention Elkanah gives, Hannah begins to eat again.

Husbands, often times we look at our wives during her moments of stress like she has gone off the deep end. Sometimes she has, but most the time we need to keep in mind that woman in different from man and that we love this woman.

Since we love her, we seek to build her up and not tear her down. Therefore, when we see our sweet little lamb in distress (we are her pastor as leader of the home), we can offer our support and care and attention; and ususally attention, an open ear and a closed mouth with a few caresses will do the trick.

Love your wife!

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Basado en 1 Samuel 1:7-9,11

Aquí vemos a un pedazo sabio de consejos martrimoniales; y no, no me refiero a las multiples esposas.  Pero, que allá en versícul 9, vemos que  Elcana da consuelo y seguridades a Hannah en su tiempo de auto-dudar y angustia...y fíjese que...servieron los consejos!

En versículo 7, vemos que Hannah no comía por causa de su angustia; pero en 9, vemos que después de la atención cariñosa, Hannah vuelve a comer otra vez.

Esposos, muchas veces vemos a nuestras esposas mientras está en un momento de estrés como que ella había salido del órbito de la planeta.  A veces sí!  Pero la mayoría del tiempo, tenemos que quedarnos en mente que la mujer es bien diferente que el hombre y también que amamos a esta loca.

Porque sí la amamos, queremos edificarla y no destruirla.  Entonces, cuando vemos a nuestra ovejita en angustia (nosotros somos los pastores de la casa), podemos ofrecer nuestro soporte, cariño y atención; y con atención, un oído abierto y una boca cerrada tranquila, unas caricias puede hacer el trabajo.

Ame a su esposa!

Trading the Extraordinary for the Ordinary

Based on 1 Samuel 8

It is really sad to see in this passage of Samuel a desire that is so rampant and destructive even today. Israel had such a unique relationship with the Divine Creator God. There was/is no other nation like it - yet, like so many people I know and even myself in part and at times have done and do, we trade the divine for terrestrial.

We have the potential to commit ourselves and become great for the cause of Christ. Many of us even begin on that path, but are soon met with frustration. In turn, it is that frustration that makes us think back on our Egypt (old way of life). And sadder still, many of us will make the effort to go back to that old way of life - normal, ordinary and comfortable; when in fact we are called children of the Most High King (aka princes and princesses), friends of God (He'll let you borrow that cup of sugar), world changers (don't like what you see? You can fix it!) and miracle workers (she's not dead, she's asleep!).

We could bring so much fame to His name if we stuck with it and chose the divine over the normal - chose to stick it out instead of give it up - think outside of ourselves to bless the rest of the world!

Israel gave up their Divine Ruler for a man.

What have you given up on lately?

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Basado en 1 Samuel 8

Me es triste leer este pasaje en Samuel y ver un deseo que está tan vivo y destructativo en nuestra cultura de hoy también.  Israel tuvo una relación única con el Dios Divino Creador.  No había/hay otra nación como ella - pero, como muchas personas que conozco y a veces yo mismo en parte hemos hecho y hacemos, intercambiamos el divino por el terrestre.

 Tenemos la potencial para comprometernos y ser grande por la causa de Cristo.  Muchos de nosotros aún empiezan este camino, pero pronto nos llega frustración.  En cambio, esta frustración nos hace pensar en nuestro Egipto (estilo de vida de antes).  Más triste todavía, muchos de nosotros hacemos el esfuerzo para regresar a nuestra vida antigua - normal, ordianria, cómoda; cuando en hecho somos llamados hijo del Rey Altísimo (quiere decir principes y princesas), amigos de Dios (te prestará otra tortilla), cambiadores del mundo (no te gusta lo que vees?  Lo puedes cambiar!) y hacedores de milagros (no está muerta, está durmida!).

Tenemos la potencial de traer tantísmia fama a Su Nombre si aguantamos y luchamos y escogemos el divino sobre el normal - si escogemos no darnos por vencido - si pensamos afuera de sí para bendecir al mundo!

Israel rindió su Rey Divino por un hombre.

Qué has dado por vencido hoy?

Thoughts on Romans/Romanos 12:15 - Bilingüe

Romans/Romanos 12:15 GWT/RVC

 

Many times when we are around someone who is experiencing difficutly through loss or some other pain, we tend to try and be "the strong one"; that is, we keep reminding the person that it will be okay, God is with them - and of course, this is all certainly true. But there is a nugget of counseling wisdom hidden here in this passage.

To be an effective communicator, in this instnace, a listner - we have do just that - listen. The person will want advice and comfort in time - but first, they need their emotions validated so that they can know they are healthy and move on.

Being sad with the sad is a comfort and counsel in itself. Validating and sharing a traumatizing experience lets the other know that they are worth enough to be joined in mourning, that their problem is legitimate and worthy of mourning, and that they are not alone.

After sympathy/empathy has run its course, you will find that the person is much more open to hear from you and be healed. Next time you want to advise, bite your tongue, join the person, listen and lament with them.

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Muchas veces cuando encontramos a un amigo pasando dificultad por pérdida o otra clase de dolor, tendemos a tratar de ser "el fuerte"; yo digo - tratamos de recordarle a la persona que todo resultará bien, que Dios está con ellos - y claro que sí, eso es ciertamente verdad.  Pero, hay un pedazo de sabiduría de consejería escondida aquí en el pasaje si tomamos el tiempo para entenderlo.

Para ser un comunicador efectivo, en este ejemplo, un oyente - tenemos que hacer exactamente eso - escuchar.  La persona querrá consejos y consuelo en tiempo - pero primeramente, la persona en sufrimento necesita que sus emociones sean validadas para saber que son sanos y para llegar a clausura.

Estar triste con el triste es consuelo y consejo en sí.  Validar y compartir una expereiencia traumática deja la persona entender que son valorosos, tanto para alguien unirse con ellos en la lamentación, que el problema es legítimo y digno de lamentación y que no está solo.

Después de que la simpatía/empatía ha corrido su curso, encontrarás que la persona está mucha más abierta para escucharte y recibir tu consejo - y ser sanada.  Así que la próxima vez que tu quieres aconsejar, hay que morderse la lengua, únete con la persona, escuche y lamenta con ella.